go to sleep, my child

I am a glutton for punishment when it comes to sleep. I rarely, if ever, get enough sleep. I stay up until 1, 2, or sometimes even 3 in the morning and then wake up and start all over again at 6:30 each morning. On the weekends, I don't sleep in past 7:30 or 8 because I feel like I waste my day if I sleep in. It's probably a miracle that I function as well as I do. Not that I function all that well...unfortunately my blonde cells multiply and take over my body with each hour of sleep that I'm deprived. I forget things and events that happened within the last 48 hours. I recently showed up for a party a week early. Yep, that's proof. I'm definitely sleep deprived. (But in all honesty, showing up a week early turned out to be a lot of fun so don't knock it 'til you try it!)

This week I marked my calendar for sleep. Yes, that's right. I put sleep on my calendar! I had to. My December calendar was full before December even started and looking at it was making me feel stressed out and tired. So, I marked Wednesday for uninterrupted, glorious sleep and I was determined to let nothing get in the way of it.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was definitely at my breaking point. Months of being on the go non-stop was taking its toll. I knew my immune system had to be running on fumes and my nerves were definitely on edge. I was exhausted to the point of being a hazard on the road in rush hour traffic on my way home from work come 7:00 that night. When I finally walked in my front door, I yanked off my high heels and collapsed, fully clothed onto my bed and into an instant coma.

I eventually awoke...well, to some extent...when my "Santa Baby" ringtone pierced my psyche and interrupted my dreams. With eyes half open and a brain functioning at about 35%, I managed to make myself some dinner, clean my bathroom, and finish the two loads of laundry I had started that morning before heading to the office. With my chores done and my belly full, I finally was ready to hit the sack for good.

But somewhere in the midst of my weary body's need for rest and my obsessive compulsive need for my house to be in order and my bathroom to be clean, it hit me that my greatest need was to just surrender to God. I don't just busy myself with a hectic schedule and an over-committed calendar on a regular basis. I systematically pile on burdens and carry them around on my shoulders stacked hazardously high above my 5'3" stature. I carefully and stubbornly balance them as I walk doubled over along my path until their weight causes me to stumble and tumble. Then, and only then, do I surrender them over to God. But there in my sheer exhaustion, God spoke to my heart. He said, "Come and rest in my arms." And that's when I let go of everything. I let go of my worries. I let go of yesterday and today. I let go of tomorrow. I let go and I crawled up into the arms of Jesus. Ok, it was actually my bed that I crawled into. But trust me, I was crawling into Jesus' arms. And it was there that I found deep, restful, peaceful, glorious sleep. 9 hours of it.

The next night as I hurried home in the heavy evening traffic, I had the radio on instead of my iPod which is uncharacteristic of me because I generally am annoyed by the radio. It was no coincidence that I happened to tune into Z88.3 just as MercyMe's "Joseph's Lullaby" began to play. I heard the words and was reminded of my time of rest the night before.


Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Or does the Father guard
Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child

Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight


Those song lyrics struck me as beautiful and personal. With those words, God was calling His dear Son to find rest in His arms with the same tenderness and love that He had used to call me into His arms the night before.

I need to spend less time trying to change the world one busy task, meeting, or Bible study at a time...and spend more time resting in the arms of my Father.

God, I want to simply be your child.