Gideon

You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands. Judges 7:2

I have always loved the story of Gideon in the Bible. It's truly remarkable to see how God delivers His people in the least expected ways! Today, my daily devotional book led me to revisit the Old Testament story of when Gideon was about to face an army of enemies and God repeatedly commanded him to reduce the number of his own army by the thousands! The devotional went on to give a powerful charge to let my vulnerability be the occasion for God's power.

Yea. Easier said than done.

There's nothing easy or comfortable about the Christian life. It's the road less traveled, the beauty less obvious, the painful climb to a summit glorious. It seems pretty clear to me that God is more visible, more glorified, more desired and needed in our moments of weakness and frailty. Why then would He pass up an opportunity to bring us to a point where we see our need for Him? The tough part is, He often doesn't.

I, in my human flesh, am so short-sighted that I'm rarely able to see beyond my own nose and recognize that I simply CAN'T do it on my own...whatever "it" is. I think I speak for all humanity when I say that we have a NEED for God and we have a NEED to be reminded on a painfully regular basis.

These last several weeks have been a painful lesson that I'm still in the process of learning. The basic Cliff's notes version is that God has been stripping away my army by the thousands, just as He did with Gideon. Now I'm left with just the few good men that God wants me to be equipped with and we're facing giants together. Armed with little ourselves, we're rich with the power of God and it's now abundantly clear that He and He ALONE will lead us to victory over our enemies.

Now to abandon the analogy and speak plainly about the hardcore reality of what I'm talking about, I have been literally (or verbally) battling for some time now about the changes that are destined to occur in the midst of my getting married. With my job disintegrating by the minute, no new job in site, outrageous wedding expenses, and now moving expenses (yes, it's official - we'll be moving to Seattle after the wedding)...I am for the first time in my life completely broken financially and at the mercy of God's hand alone to provide for me. I've always been financially stable "on my own" (I think God just laughed at me) and it's not easy for me to be in this place. But I know God has brought me here and He has great plans for me here.

At first I was somewhat angry and indignant to find myself here in this place of vulnerability and utter dependence. I never thought I'd be bringing NOTHING financially to the table at the start of my marriage. I wanted to bring more of a bonus than a burden to Dan's finances. I see now that God wants to show me that He and HE ALONE can provide for my needs and for the needs of my upcoming marriage. He has led me to this place so that I will see how great His love is for me.

God saw that I had too many "men" to feel the need for My Deliverer and so He is stripping me of my own resources so that I can rely more fully on Him for my every need. He's pulling me into His lap as His child and caring for me as my Father.

The Lord has already blessed me with the desire of my heart in giving me a godly husband in Dan. How can I do anything but trust that He will continue to take care of me beyond my wildest expectations?