the random ramblings, musings, & ponderings of a jesus freak

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

repentance: 26 miles

Nearly every weekend, I bike the Seminole Wekiva bike trail. From one end to the other and back, the path is twenty-six miles long. Sometimes I'll ride with a friend, but most of the time it's just me out there. Me and God. That means twenty-six miles of communion with my Savior with no distractions. Twenty-six miles of lifting up my family and friends to God, sharing my fears and doubts with Him, and crying out to Him to grant me the desires of my heart.

There's just something about riding that trail that brings me closer to Jesus each week. Just being outside makes me want to worship. As I ride, I feel the warmth of the sun on my face and back and the contrasting coolness of the breeze. I am inspired and amazed by the vastness of the clear, blue canopy of sky overhead. I marvel at the richness of the different shades of green in the trees and plants along the way. I see hawks, tortoises, horses, goats, cows, and snakes. Around every bend is another reminder of the God who created the heavens and the earth.


My weeks are jam-packed full of meetings, paperwork, gym workouts, church functions, friends in need, laundry, bills to be paid, driving in traffic, cleaning, grocery shopping, and phones ringing. For a couple hours each week, I get to leave all of that behind and find quiet on my bike. Here only God can speak to me...if I listen. I often find myself riding with tears streaming down my cheeks as I talk to my heavenly Father.


This morning I left church and got into an argument with my sister. I said words I'd quickly regret. In a fury, I grabbed my bike and headed for the trail. As I pedaled hard and fast, I realized that my heart was full of anger, bitterness, jealousy, and contempt. I was angry with my sister when I should have been patient and compassionate. I was jealous and bitter that God has not blessed me with a husband or a boyfriend while others who either don't want or don't seem to deserve to be in a relationship have one literally waiting at their fingertips. I was feeling frustrated with friends who have misjudged me and fearing that they might abandon me.

Slowly, as mile after mile faded away, so did the raging sinfulness in my heart. God reminded me of who He is and of how truly faithful He is. He called me His Beloved and told me how greatly He loves me and adores me. The tears came and the anger fled. By mile twenty-six, repentance had found residence in a heart recently vacated by wickedness.

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