Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. (Proverbs 4:25)
Growing up, I took ballet lessons. I instantly fell in love with the dance as a kid. I mean, I LOVED it! I was always dancing. Whether at home, at school, or in the aisles of the grocery store, no one could keep my feet from moving to the music that played inside my head. While I loved every part of dancing, one of my favorite things in ballet class was doing pirouette turns. Turn after turn after turn (grocery store aisles are perfect for these)...I always felt like a princess spinning around on my toes!
The tricky thing about pirouette turns is that you can easily become dizzy from doing them. The key to turning without becoming dizzy is, of course, to fix your eyes on one stationary spot. With each turn, your gaze must come back into focus on that one particular spot at the end of each rotation. I can remember scanning the room for my selected focal point – a picture frame, a sign, a poster, or even my own reflection in a mirror. The focal point is a must. Otherwise...you're bound to end up in a giggling heap on the floor, pink tutu and all.
The same is true with our faith.
In Hebrews 12:2 the author writes, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
If we don't keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, we're bound to end up in a heap of trouble and there’s not so much giggling in that heap! We're way too easily distracted by the things that the devil throws in front of us in an effort to trip us up and cause us to doubt God's goodness and ultimate plan for our lives.
As a dancer, It wasn’t enough for me to fix my gaze on any old object. I couldn’t choose a passing car or a person walking by because, naturally, I knew that they wouldn’t be in the same place by the time my head had whipped back around. I had to choose a solid, stationary object that I could rely on to remain stationary during the amount of time it took me to complete each rotation. When I apply that lesson to faith, I see Christ as the only solid and stationary object to concentrate on. My friends and family are there for me most of the time, but as humans with their own individual set of struggles and limitations…they’re bound to disappoint me eventually. Money evaporates quicker than water. The job market can be highly volatile. Vehicles and homes are subject to accidents and fires. The only true constant in this life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. There’s a good reason the Psalmist refers to God as our Rock!
We, as children of God, are often likened to sheep in the Bible. Psalm 100:3 says, “Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” While sheep in children’s books are cute and fluffy creatures, the reality is that sheep are not known for being the smartest of animals. Sheep are easily frightened and are very slow, which makes them especially vulnerable to predators. They’re high maintenance in that they need the constant care and attention of a shepherd. They are so easily influenced by their peers that they will willingly follow one another right over the edge of a cliff to their death in pursuit of a few blades of grass. Isaiah 53:6 reads, ”We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Essentially, the smartest sheep is the sheep nearest his shepherd.
Thankfully, we're not sheep without a shepherd. Christ is our Shepherd and He has come for His lost sheep (Matthew 15:24).
Last week I spent a few days studying a short passage in Proverbs (4:20-27) as part of a daily Bible study I’m doing with some friends. Looking back at the verses again after having read them for several days in a row, I finally noticed a theme emerging from the text. The theme was one of obedience and position. Our Heavenly Father is omnipotent (all-powerful) and He is in control of all things. That doesn't mean that we accept Christ into our hearts, accept his gift of salvation, and then carry on in life doing as we please because we have been sanctified by the blood of Jesus and are thereby forgiven for all of our sins (past and present). A life given to Christ is a changed life. Not a perfect life…a changed life. The change begins with obedience.
Reading over those words in Proverbs over and over again, certain phrases jumped out at me. Listen to God. Memorize Scripture. Guard your heart. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Avoid lies and gossip. They were all commands, or rather demands for obedience to the Shepherd.
We will always be sinful humans. Our call isn't to be sinless (it's just not possible), it's to be obedient and to position ourselves in such a stance that we are ready (and more importantly, willing) to be used as tools of the Lord. It’s our responsibility to be putting our bodies in a position ready for worship…to be positioning ourselves as close to the Shepherd as we possibly can…to concentrate our focus on Christ as we traverse this dizzying pirouette-twirling journey called life. We're commanded by God to go to church (Remember the Sabbath Exodus 20:8), guard our hearts, and fix our eyes on Jesus. We don't do these things because they're wonder drugs for our moments of depression or supernatural maps to lead us in moments when we’re especially lacking direction. We do them out of obedience to God, knowing fully that He will bless us for our obedience. He will surely grant us our undeserved prize.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:14)
I might be too old for the tutu now, but I’ll never be too old to fix my eyes on my Shepherd and dance for Him.
A side note: As I was writing this blog, I did a little research (ok it was VERY little so don’t bother asking me any questions later) on the behavior and nature of sheep. One thing that I found pretty interesting was that while sheep have excellent peripheral vision, they unfortunately have very poor depth perception. Dips in the terrain ahead of them, and sometimes even just shadows, will cause them to stop in their tracks or even retreat. As a result, sheep have a natural tendency to want to move out of darkness and into well-lit areas.
The same applies to us as the sheep of God’s pasture. Like sheep, our peripheral vision is 20/20. We are easily distracted, and consequently entangled, by the things that encompass us in this world. Our depth perception seems to be terrible in that we are always slipping and tripping and having to fall to our knees to ask forgiveness. I truly believe that there is something inside of us that causes us to naturally desire to move out of the darkness of sin and enter into the Light of God’s Truth.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
doing the chocolate dance
Wisdom is not gained by passive absorption. It must be consumed and savored. It must become the focal point of our thinking. -- Chris Tiegreen, The One Year Walk With God
I love the mental picture that comes to my mind when I read Proverbs 4:20-21. "My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them."
When I read those verses, I envision this little boy chasing after his Father and leaping into the air to grasp his words as they float, swirling and twirling on every fleeting breeze like snowflakes, from his lips. The little boy is excited with this game he and his Father are playing. He giggles and squeals with delight as he anticipates his daddy's every word and the chase that ensues.
One night last year, my friend took me with him to spend the evening at an art museum in town. At that time, there was one exhibit at the museum which centered entirely around chocolate. Within the exhibit were all these different booths set up sampling chocolate and displaying things made out of chocolate. One booth was particularly amusing to us. The "vendors" had in their station something that was similar to a plastic phone booth and there were hundreds of chocolate wrappers lying on the ground inside. One by one, museum patrons would zip themselves inside the plastic booth. Once secured inside the plastic lining, the patron would meet with a great gust of wind coming from the floor of the booth which would send the wrappers swirling around his or her face and body. The object, of course, was to grab as many chocolate bar wrappers from the air as possible in the short amount of time allotted. The end result: a whole chocolate bar in exchange for every wrapper.
We watched person after person go inside the booth because it was so amusing to watch them do their "chocolate dance" amid the blizzard of wrappers. They would look so frantic and desperate as they grappled in the air for promises of chocolate. Eventually, we ran into another friend of ours at the exhibit and the friend I was with conned him into entering the plastic booth under the false pretense that we would then do it as well. Our friend did pretty well at collecting a nice handful of wrappers and he graciously shared his chocolate winnings with us despite our trickery.
Do we ever look like that? Do we ever resemble a child scrambling to catch his Heavenly Father's every word? Do we ever look like the patron in the plastic booth, hungrily stuffing wrappers into our pockets in eager anticipation of the rewards they represent? Or are we merely spectators in this life of faith - spectators who hope to benefit from someone else's chocolate prizes? Are we content to let the words fill our ears and sink into the abyss of our mind, hopeful that their final resting place will benefit us in some way or cause us to supernaturally grow with little or no effort?
I have to think that faith without ensuing action isn't really faith at all. If a life touched by the blood of Christ (or by the words of Christ) isn't a changed life, then it is not a life worth living.
As a child, I soaked in all the Bible stories and Scripture memory verses I could get my hands on. In addition to my Barbie dolls and the traditional doll house, I had Bible action figures and a Jerusalem "doll house" that my dad built for me. I would spend hours in play with Ruth, Esther, and David, moving their plastic legs through my cardboard city. I would line up my stuffed animals and babydolls to tell them stories from my makeshift pulpit (an upturned wooden footstool). I sang along to Psalty's Scripture memory songs that bellowed from my favorite red, plastic cassette player. Wow, I was such a freak.
Then somewhere in my adolescence, my passion died down for awhile. I grew complacent sitting in church on Sunday and grew satisfied with simply letting the words fill my brain. In a way, I expected that to be enough. For awhile, I was satisfied with the passive absorption Tiegreen was talking about.
I'm so grateful that God has brought me out of that stagnant state and has re-ignited my passion for His Word and has shown me firsthand how vital His Truth is to my daily life! I'm so thrilled to be doing the chocolate dance for God's words of wisdom. I just hope it doesn't end when my time runs out in the booth. And I hope I don't hoard all of the "chocolatey" wisdom for myself, but that I share it instead with everyone around me.
For me, the chocolate dance comes as a result of spending time reading my Bible every day. It comes about after applying Godly principles to my life that my pastor preached about on Sunday. It's a result of the discussions I have with my home group each week as we dissect Scripture passages. The chocolate dance comes in the form of Christ-like conversations with family and friends and Godly reactions to circumstances and situations. The chocolate dance is recognition of God's hand in a beautiful, blue sky or a breathtaking sunset. The chocolate dance is giggling until there are tears running down your cheeks as you share your heart and open your arms to your girlfriends who are going through this life journey alongside of you.
The bottom line: God's wisdom is dark, chocolatey goodness for the soul.
I love the mental picture that comes to my mind when I read Proverbs 4:20-21. "My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them."
When I read those verses, I envision this little boy chasing after his Father and leaping into the air to grasp his words as they float, swirling and twirling on every fleeting breeze like snowflakes, from his lips. The little boy is excited with this game he and his Father are playing. He giggles and squeals with delight as he anticipates his daddy's every word and the chase that ensues.
One night last year, my friend took me with him to spend the evening at an art museum in town. At that time, there was one exhibit at the museum which centered entirely around chocolate. Within the exhibit were all these different booths set up sampling chocolate and displaying things made out of chocolate. One booth was particularly amusing to us. The "vendors" had in their station something that was similar to a plastic phone booth and there were hundreds of chocolate wrappers lying on the ground inside. One by one, museum patrons would zip themselves inside the plastic booth. Once secured inside the plastic lining, the patron would meet with a great gust of wind coming from the floor of the booth which would send the wrappers swirling around his or her face and body. The object, of course, was to grab as many chocolate bar wrappers from the air as possible in the short amount of time allotted. The end result: a whole chocolate bar in exchange for every wrapper.
We watched person after person go inside the booth because it was so amusing to watch them do their "chocolate dance" amid the blizzard of wrappers. They would look so frantic and desperate as they grappled in the air for promises of chocolate. Eventually, we ran into another friend of ours at the exhibit and the friend I was with conned him into entering the plastic booth under the false pretense that we would then do it as well. Our friend did pretty well at collecting a nice handful of wrappers and he graciously shared his chocolate winnings with us despite our trickery.
Do we ever look like that? Do we ever resemble a child scrambling to catch his Heavenly Father's every word? Do we ever look like the patron in the plastic booth, hungrily stuffing wrappers into our pockets in eager anticipation of the rewards they represent? Or are we merely spectators in this life of faith - spectators who hope to benefit from someone else's chocolate prizes? Are we content to let the words fill our ears and sink into the abyss of our mind, hopeful that their final resting place will benefit us in some way or cause us to supernaturally grow with little or no effort?
I have to think that faith without ensuing action isn't really faith at all. If a life touched by the blood of Christ (or by the words of Christ) isn't a changed life, then it is not a life worth living.
As a child, I soaked in all the Bible stories and Scripture memory verses I could get my hands on. In addition to my Barbie dolls and the traditional doll house, I had Bible action figures and a Jerusalem "doll house" that my dad built for me. I would spend hours in play with Ruth, Esther, and David, moving their plastic legs through my cardboard city. I would line up my stuffed animals and babydolls to tell them stories from my makeshift pulpit (an upturned wooden footstool). I sang along to Psalty's Scripture memory songs that bellowed from my favorite red, plastic cassette player. Wow, I was such a freak.
Then somewhere in my adolescence, my passion died down for awhile. I grew complacent sitting in church on Sunday and grew satisfied with simply letting the words fill my brain. In a way, I expected that to be enough. For awhile, I was satisfied with the passive absorption Tiegreen was talking about.
I'm so grateful that God has brought me out of that stagnant state and has re-ignited my passion for His Word and has shown me firsthand how vital His Truth is to my daily life! I'm so thrilled to be doing the chocolate dance for God's words of wisdom. I just hope it doesn't end when my time runs out in the booth. And I hope I don't hoard all of the "chocolatey" wisdom for myself, but that I share it instead with everyone around me.
For me, the chocolate dance comes as a result of spending time reading my Bible every day. It comes about after applying Godly principles to my life that my pastor preached about on Sunday. It's a result of the discussions I have with my home group each week as we dissect Scripture passages. The chocolate dance comes in the form of Christ-like conversations with family and friends and Godly reactions to circumstances and situations. The chocolate dance is recognition of God's hand in a beautiful, blue sky or a breathtaking sunset. The chocolate dance is giggling until there are tears running down your cheeks as you share your heart and open your arms to your girlfriends who are going through this life journey alongside of you.
The bottom line: God's wisdom is dark, chocolatey goodness for the soul.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
when i grow up, i want to be a lion
I am woman. Hear me roar!
I think women are often likened to cats or lions because of our "catty" tendencies with one another. That's probably the number one quality in women that causes me to seek male friendships and be extra picky about the women I surround myself with on a daily basis. I hate pettiness and I cringe at cat-like women who manipulate and gossip and bicker and tear one another down. But interestingly enough, Proverbs links the lion to boldness and righteousness. Proverbs 28:1 says, "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."
Ruth Boorstin, an American writer and poet, once said "Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for."
Lately I've been thinking more and more about being bold for the sake of Christ.
I used to be the only Christian in my workplace and in order for me to maintain a lifestyle pleasing to God in that environment, boldness was almost required of me. My lifestyle begged questions about what made me so different from everyone else. Why wasn't I getting drunk or going out for drinks with everyone else after work? Why wouldn't I date so-and-so or sleep with my so-and-so? Why didn't I gossip and backstab like others did? Why didn't curse words come out of my mouth?
Now I work at a Christian company and everyone in my office is pretty like-minded on the moral issues. And my family is Christian. And nearly all of my friends are Christians. Suddenly I'm not so different on the outside from anybody else around me and I have to ask myself...am I still bold? If not, where and when and how can I be?
I was driving home from church last Sunday and as I sat at a red light on a major six-lane highway, I noticed a man walking along the sidewalk. He was dressed in nothing but sneakers and a pair of jogging shorts. On his back was strapped a backpack. There's nothing unusual about any of that. What made him stick out like a sore thumb was the giant white cross he carried on his shoulder. And by giant, I mean probably about ten to twelve feet long. It had wheels at the bottom where it touched the pavement. I saw him walking with the cross upon his shoulder and my jaw dropped. It took a second for it to register in my brain what was going on. A car passed him and honked a short toot of support, as if the driver were saying "Amen!" or "I'm with you, brother!" The light turned green and I had to drive away, but there was a part of me that so badly wanted to make a U-turn and ask him all kinds of questions. Where are you taking that cross? How often do you do this? What church do you go to? Where did you get this idea? What is your testimony? I immediately admired him for making such a bold statement of his faith.
Last week one night I was in the car with a friend and we were driving along a toll road. We came to a stop at the toll booth and readied our money for the booth operator. As he gave us our change, he leaned over and said "Jesus loves you!" It took us by surprise completely. I sputtered out a quick "Thank you" and I think my friend replied with a "You too!" We drove away asking ourselves, "Did that really just happen?" I wondered aloud if he could lose his job for saying Jesus' name at a toll booth like that. I wanted to go back and tell him how cool I thought it was that he was doing that! It would have been well worth the extra $1.50 I would have had to spend.
Now I have to ask myself, am I bold enough for Christ? I read a devotional last night about lying. The text placed an emphasis on not merely refraining from telling lies, but on speaking the truth when the truth was called for. In essence, it was a devotional about being bold enough to tell the truth. As I reflected on the study, I had to ask myself why I choose to omit the truth or why I shy away from having to speak the truth on occasion. Why do I stay silent when I know I should speak up? The answer was simply my failure to be bold. Each occasion where I had struggled or possibly even failed to speak truth in an uncomfortable situation, it was because I was more afraid of the potential repercussions of my words than I was confident that God would bless me for being truthful. In the instances where I not only struggled but gave in and refused to speak up, I traded boldness for safety. I sold out. I lost an opportunity to be bold for Christ and grow in my faith.
Presbyterian theologian Charles Hodge once said, “The ultimate ground of faith and knowledge is confidence in God.” I want to be confident enough to be bold for Christ. As bold as a lion. Today and always.
I am Christ-like. Hear me roar!
"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD, when they hear the words of your mouth." Psalm 138:3-4
"They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus." Acts 4:28-30
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith." Romans 1:16-17
"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Luke 11:7-9
I think women are often likened to cats or lions because of our "catty" tendencies with one another. That's probably the number one quality in women that causes me to seek male friendships and be extra picky about the women I surround myself with on a daily basis. I hate pettiness and I cringe at cat-like women who manipulate and gossip and bicker and tear one another down. But interestingly enough, Proverbs links the lion to boldness and righteousness. Proverbs 28:1 says, "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."
Ruth Boorstin, an American writer and poet, once said "Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for."
Lately I've been thinking more and more about being bold for the sake of Christ.
I used to be the only Christian in my workplace and in order for me to maintain a lifestyle pleasing to God in that environment, boldness was almost required of me. My lifestyle begged questions about what made me so different from everyone else. Why wasn't I getting drunk or going out for drinks with everyone else after work? Why wouldn't I date so-and-so or sleep with my so-and-so? Why didn't I gossip and backstab like others did? Why didn't curse words come out of my mouth?
Now I work at a Christian company and everyone in my office is pretty like-minded on the moral issues. And my family is Christian. And nearly all of my friends are Christians. Suddenly I'm not so different on the outside from anybody else around me and I have to ask myself...am I still bold? If not, where and when and how can I be?
I was driving home from church last Sunday and as I sat at a red light on a major six-lane highway, I noticed a man walking along the sidewalk. He was dressed in nothing but sneakers and a pair of jogging shorts. On his back was strapped a backpack. There's nothing unusual about any of that. What made him stick out like a sore thumb was the giant white cross he carried on his shoulder. And by giant, I mean probably about ten to twelve feet long. It had wheels at the bottom where it touched the pavement. I saw him walking with the cross upon his shoulder and my jaw dropped. It took a second for it to register in my brain what was going on. A car passed him and honked a short toot of support, as if the driver were saying "Amen!" or "I'm with you, brother!" The light turned green and I had to drive away, but there was a part of me that so badly wanted to make a U-turn and ask him all kinds of questions. Where are you taking that cross? How often do you do this? What church do you go to? Where did you get this idea? What is your testimony? I immediately admired him for making such a bold statement of his faith.
Last week one night I was in the car with a friend and we were driving along a toll road. We came to a stop at the toll booth and readied our money for the booth operator. As he gave us our change, he leaned over and said "Jesus loves you!" It took us by surprise completely. I sputtered out a quick "Thank you" and I think my friend replied with a "You too!" We drove away asking ourselves, "Did that really just happen?" I wondered aloud if he could lose his job for saying Jesus' name at a toll booth like that. I wanted to go back and tell him how cool I thought it was that he was doing that! It would have been well worth the extra $1.50 I would have had to spend.
Now I have to ask myself, am I bold enough for Christ? I read a devotional last night about lying. The text placed an emphasis on not merely refraining from telling lies, but on speaking the truth when the truth was called for. In essence, it was a devotional about being bold enough to tell the truth. As I reflected on the study, I had to ask myself why I choose to omit the truth or why I shy away from having to speak the truth on occasion. Why do I stay silent when I know I should speak up? The answer was simply my failure to be bold. Each occasion where I had struggled or possibly even failed to speak truth in an uncomfortable situation, it was because I was more afraid of the potential repercussions of my words than I was confident that God would bless me for being truthful. In the instances where I not only struggled but gave in and refused to speak up, I traded boldness for safety. I sold out. I lost an opportunity to be bold for Christ and grow in my faith.
Presbyterian theologian Charles Hodge once said, “The ultimate ground of faith and knowledge is confidence in God.” I want to be confident enough to be bold for Christ. As bold as a lion. Today and always.
I am Christ-like. Hear me roar!
"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD, when they hear the words of your mouth." Psalm 138:3-4
"They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus." Acts 4:28-30
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith." Romans 1:16-17
"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Luke 11:7-9
Friday, December 14, 2007
sympathy pains
Empathy is interpreted as the ability to take oneself out of oneself and put oneself into another person's world. It is understanding another person's feelings by remembering or imagining being in a similar situation. It is understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another without actually sharing the feelings or emotions of another.
Last night a friend called me on her way to a service project where she'd be feeding the homeless and during our conversation she asked me if I had ever done that before. I told her about my experience and about how it had been a blessing to me but at the same time that it had been difficult for me because of the emotions it had evoked in my spirit. I loved meeting the different people there on the street corner. I loved hearing their stories. I felt valuable to them in a small way as I handed them a can of lemon-lime soda or a sandwich. My heart went out to their children as I knelt to play with them on the concrete. But by the time I got home, there was a part of me that was so heartbroken for them in their need that I wanted to sell everything in my possession and actually do something more significant than handing them a sandwich with a smile.
I am one of those people who feels the pain of others, both emotionally and physically. When somebody talks about scoliosis, my back hurts. When I hear about cracked ribs, my sides ache. When a friend feels broken-hearted, my heart feels broken as well. When someone I love has a death in their family, I want to wrap my arms around them and sob with them in their loss. I even feel nauseous sometimes when loved ones are arguing with one another. I easily slip out of my own shoes and into the shoes of those whom I hold dear.
All of this empathy poses a problem sometimes. I find it extremely difficult to walk the halls of a hospital because each occupied bed that I pass calls out to me. I often have to go outside for a few minutes just to escape the silent cries and breathe a deep breath in prayer. There are times when I have to fight the urge to carry the burdens of my family or friends upon my own shoulders rather than entrusting them to God as I know I should.
According to the dictionary, the word empathy is frequently used in connection with the creator of a work of art. When I first read that, I thought not of a creator, but of the Creator. I pictured in my mind Jesus Christ...God in the form of man. The infinite, all-powerful God loved us so much that He came to earth in the form of a perishable man. Jesus experienced all of the pain, sorrow, and suffering any of us ever have or ever will go through. He knows our pain and sympathizes with us because He felt it first Himself.
Just imagine...any time we are in pain, whether it be emotional or physical, Jesus Christ is standing right there beside us. He stands with His nail-scarred hands outstretched, waiting for us to run into the safety and comfort of His arms. That mental picture is so vivid and powerful to me. The holes in His hands where the nails once were remind me that He has felt every ounce of physical pain my mom will ever feel in the course of her disease. He knows a pain far greater than that experienced in a car accident or a knee injury. At the same time, those same scars remind me of the fact that when He suffered and died on that cross, He had experienced all of the emotions I ever have or ever will face. He had both loved and lost. He had treasured relationships with his friends and family. He had been betrayed and abandoned.
Perhaps the reason I can step into the shoes of others and see things and feel things from their perspective is because Jesus first stepped out of His own sandals and stood barefoot in the pain of the poor, the sick, the weak, and the down-trodden. Perhaps it's not a characteristic of my personality that causes me to be this way. Rather, it is Christ living in me that allows me to feel any empathy or sympathy at all.
One thing I know for sure is that I am grateful for my sympathy pains. They are real and raw and fresh. They remind me of my weakness and my need for a Lord and Savior. At the close of our study of the book of James this week, I was talking to my home group about suffering and reflecting on what I've learned through experiencing trials in my life. In James 1:2-4, the author writes, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It has come up many times during our study of James that suffering inevitably produces a stronger dependency on Jesus Christ than that which is experienced in times of joy or peace. It is in those moments of vulnerability and pain that we find ourselves desperately clinging like the bleeding woman (Mark 5, Luke 8) to the hem of Jesus' robe.
I am grateful for my sympathy pains because they allow me to show love to those who need it most. I have experienced many trials and God has always been faithful to bring me through them. I believe that the empathy I feel is a gift from God that spurs me to reach out to those who are hurting and tell them that they are not alone in their suffering. I have suffered and am testimony of God's love and grace. Jesus suffered far greater pain and grief to the extent that He even died for me and for you. That is surely something to consider with joy.
But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. - Hebrews 2:9
To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. - I Peter 2:21
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. - I Peter 1:3-7
Last night a friend called me on her way to a service project where she'd be feeding the homeless and during our conversation she asked me if I had ever done that before. I told her about my experience and about how it had been a blessing to me but at the same time that it had been difficult for me because of the emotions it had evoked in my spirit. I loved meeting the different people there on the street corner. I loved hearing their stories. I felt valuable to them in a small way as I handed them a can of lemon-lime soda or a sandwich. My heart went out to their children as I knelt to play with them on the concrete. But by the time I got home, there was a part of me that was so heartbroken for them in their need that I wanted to sell everything in my possession and actually do something more significant than handing them a sandwich with a smile.
I am one of those people who feels the pain of others, both emotionally and physically. When somebody talks about scoliosis, my back hurts. When I hear about cracked ribs, my sides ache. When a friend feels broken-hearted, my heart feels broken as well. When someone I love has a death in their family, I want to wrap my arms around them and sob with them in their loss. I even feel nauseous sometimes when loved ones are arguing with one another. I easily slip out of my own shoes and into the shoes of those whom I hold dear.
All of this empathy poses a problem sometimes. I find it extremely difficult to walk the halls of a hospital because each occupied bed that I pass calls out to me. I often have to go outside for a few minutes just to escape the silent cries and breathe a deep breath in prayer. There are times when I have to fight the urge to carry the burdens of my family or friends upon my own shoulders rather than entrusting them to God as I know I should.
According to the dictionary, the word empathy is frequently used in connection with the creator of a work of art. When I first read that, I thought not of a creator, but of the Creator. I pictured in my mind Jesus Christ...God in the form of man. The infinite, all-powerful God loved us so much that He came to earth in the form of a perishable man. Jesus experienced all of the pain, sorrow, and suffering any of us ever have or ever will go through. He knows our pain and sympathizes with us because He felt it first Himself.
Just imagine...any time we are in pain, whether it be emotional or physical, Jesus Christ is standing right there beside us. He stands with His nail-scarred hands outstretched, waiting for us to run into the safety and comfort of His arms. That mental picture is so vivid and powerful to me. The holes in His hands where the nails once were remind me that He has felt every ounce of physical pain my mom will ever feel in the course of her disease. He knows a pain far greater than that experienced in a car accident or a knee injury. At the same time, those same scars remind me of the fact that when He suffered and died on that cross, He had experienced all of the emotions I ever have or ever will face. He had both loved and lost. He had treasured relationships with his friends and family. He had been betrayed and abandoned.
Perhaps the reason I can step into the shoes of others and see things and feel things from their perspective is because Jesus first stepped out of His own sandals and stood barefoot in the pain of the poor, the sick, the weak, and the down-trodden. Perhaps it's not a characteristic of my personality that causes me to be this way. Rather, it is Christ living in me that allows me to feel any empathy or sympathy at all.
One thing I know for sure is that I am grateful for my sympathy pains. They are real and raw and fresh. They remind me of my weakness and my need for a Lord and Savior. At the close of our study of the book of James this week, I was talking to my home group about suffering and reflecting on what I've learned through experiencing trials in my life. In James 1:2-4, the author writes, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It has come up many times during our study of James that suffering inevitably produces a stronger dependency on Jesus Christ than that which is experienced in times of joy or peace. It is in those moments of vulnerability and pain that we find ourselves desperately clinging like the bleeding woman (Mark 5, Luke 8) to the hem of Jesus' robe.
I am grateful for my sympathy pains because they allow me to show love to those who need it most. I have experienced many trials and God has always been faithful to bring me through them. I believe that the empathy I feel is a gift from God that spurs me to reach out to those who are hurting and tell them that they are not alone in their suffering. I have suffered and am testimony of God's love and grace. Jesus suffered far greater pain and grief to the extent that He even died for me and for you. That is surely something to consider with joy.
I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. Lord, by such things men live and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. - Isaiah 38:15-17
But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. - Hebrews 2:9
To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. - I Peter 2:21
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. - I Peter 1:3-7
Thursday, December 13, 2007
go to sleep, my child
I am a glutton for punishment when it comes to sleep. I rarely, if ever, get enough sleep. I stay up until 1, 2, or sometimes even 3 in the morning and then wake up and start all over again at 6:30 each morning. On the weekends, I don't sleep in past 7:30 or 8 because I feel like I waste my day if I sleep in. It's probably a miracle that I function as well as I do. Not that I function all that well...unfortunately my blonde cells multiply and take over my body with each hour of sleep that I'm deprived. I forget things and events that happened within the last 48 hours. I recently showed up for a party a week early. Yep, that's proof. I'm definitely sleep deprived. (But in all honesty, showing up a week early turned out to be a lot of fun so don't knock it 'til you try it!)
This week I marked my calendar for sleep. Yes, that's right. I put sleep on my calendar! I had to. My December calendar was full before December even started and looking at it was making me feel stressed out and tired. So, I marked Wednesday for uninterrupted, glorious sleep and I was determined to let nothing get in the way of it.
By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was definitely at my breaking point. Months of being on the go non-stop was taking its toll. I knew my immune system had to be running on fumes and my nerves were definitely on edge. I was exhausted to the point of being a hazard on the road in rush hour traffic on my way home from work come 7:00 that night. When I finally walked in my front door, I yanked off my high heels and collapsed, fully clothed onto my bed and into an instant coma.
I eventually awoke...well, to some extent...when my "Santa Baby" ringtone pierced my psyche and interrupted my dreams. With eyes half open and a brain functioning at about 35%, I managed to make myself some dinner, clean my bathroom, and finish the two loads of laundry I had started that morning before heading to the office. With my chores done and my belly full, I finally was ready to hit the sack for good.
But somewhere in the midst of my weary body's need for rest and my obsessive compulsive need for my house to be in order and my bathroom to be clean, it hit me that my greatest need was to just surrender to God. I don't just busy myself with a hectic schedule and an over-committed calendar on a regular basis. I systematically pile on burdens and carry them around on my shoulders stacked hazardously high above my 5'3" stature. I carefully and stubbornly balance them as I walk doubled over along my path until their weight causes me to stumble and tumble. Then, and only then, do I surrender them over to God. But there in my sheer exhaustion, God spoke to my heart. He said, "Come and rest in my arms." And that's when I let go of everything. I let go of my worries. I let go of yesterday and today. I let go of tomorrow. I let go and I crawled up into the arms of Jesus. Ok, it was actually my bed that I crawled into. But trust me, I was crawling into Jesus' arms. And it was there that I found deep, restful, peaceful, glorious sleep. 9 hours of it.
The next night as I hurried home in the heavy evening traffic, I had the radio on instead of my iPod which is uncharacteristic of me because I generally am annoyed by the radio. It was no coincidence that I happened to tune into Z88.3 just as MercyMe's "Joseph's Lullaby" began to play. I heard the words and was reminded of my time of rest the night before.
Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head
Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Or does the Father guard
Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?
Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace
I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child
Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight
Those song lyrics struck me as beautiful and personal. With those words, God was calling His dear Son to find rest in His arms with the same tenderness and love that He had used to call me into His arms the night before.
I need to spend less time trying to change the world one busy task, meeting, or Bible study at a time...and spend more time resting in the arms of my Father.
God, I want to simply be your child.
This week I marked my calendar for sleep. Yes, that's right. I put sleep on my calendar! I had to. My December calendar was full before December even started and looking at it was making me feel stressed out and tired. So, I marked Wednesday for uninterrupted, glorious sleep and I was determined to let nothing get in the way of it.
By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was definitely at my breaking point. Months of being on the go non-stop was taking its toll. I knew my immune system had to be running on fumes and my nerves were definitely on edge. I was exhausted to the point of being a hazard on the road in rush hour traffic on my way home from work come 7:00 that night. When I finally walked in my front door, I yanked off my high heels and collapsed, fully clothed onto my bed and into an instant coma.
I eventually awoke...well, to some extent...when my "Santa Baby" ringtone pierced my psyche and interrupted my dreams. With eyes half open and a brain functioning at about 35%, I managed to make myself some dinner, clean my bathroom, and finish the two loads of laundry I had started that morning before heading to the office. With my chores done and my belly full, I finally was ready to hit the sack for good.
But somewhere in the midst of my weary body's need for rest and my obsessive compulsive need for my house to be in order and my bathroom to be clean, it hit me that my greatest need was to just surrender to God. I don't just busy myself with a hectic schedule and an over-committed calendar on a regular basis. I systematically pile on burdens and carry them around on my shoulders stacked hazardously high above my 5'3" stature. I carefully and stubbornly balance them as I walk doubled over along my path until their weight causes me to stumble and tumble. Then, and only then, do I surrender them over to God. But there in my sheer exhaustion, God spoke to my heart. He said, "Come and rest in my arms." And that's when I let go of everything. I let go of my worries. I let go of yesterday and today. I let go of tomorrow. I let go and I crawled up into the arms of Jesus. Ok, it was actually my bed that I crawled into. But trust me, I was crawling into Jesus' arms. And it was there that I found deep, restful, peaceful, glorious sleep. 9 hours of it.
The next night as I hurried home in the heavy evening traffic, I had the radio on instead of my iPod which is uncharacteristic of me because I generally am annoyed by the radio. It was no coincidence that I happened to tune into Z88.3 just as MercyMe's "Joseph's Lullaby" began to play. I heard the words and was reminded of my time of rest the night before.
Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head
Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Or does the Father guard
Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?
Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace
I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child
Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight
Those song lyrics struck me as beautiful and personal. With those words, God was calling His dear Son to find rest in His arms with the same tenderness and love that He had used to call me into His arms the night before.
I need to spend less time trying to change the world one busy task, meeting, or Bible study at a time...and spend more time resting in the arms of my Father.
God, I want to simply be your child.
Monday, December 10, 2007
a still reflection
James 1:19-20 says, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."
For the last three or four months I've been studying the book of James with my home group. Slowly but surely, we've dissected the text verse by verse. Again and again, those are the two verses that keep coming to my mind. I keep coming back to those words: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. I've read those verses many times before, but this time they leaped off the page and shouted at me, demanding that I reconsider them. They've struck a chord in my soul that keeps reverberating as each day goes by.
I've always looked at those verses and thought of them in terms of me and my relationship with my family, friends, and people in general. I think I have always looked at those verses as a kind of a checklist of godly behavior to be mentally ticked off. Be quick to listen. I'm a great listener. Check. Be slow to speak. I sometime speak before I think but not terribly often. Check. Be slow to become angry. I rarely get to the point that my blood is boiling. It actually takes a lot to stir up anger in my soul. Check. Wow, at this rate I'm a pretty good Christian. And so, I think I've traditionally checked off my checklist, patted myself on the back, and given myself permission to kind of gloss over those words.
But something changed during the course of this study. As I've heard those verses mentioned and as I've referenced them myself time and time again in the course of discussing the rest of the book, something in my perspective began to shift.
Over the course of the study, I have been struggling with a seemingly unrelated verse in the Bible. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Even though Psalm 46 is one of my favorite Psalms and I read it often, that particular verse is one that I battle tooth and nail.
I habitually overbook my calendar. I have a ridiculously hard time saying no to anyone who asks me to do something. I am busy all the time! Oh sure, I'm busy with things that are good and often even Christ-like. I'm busy with all the normal day-to-day stuff like work and keeping my house clean and going to the gym every day and having fun with my friends. And then on top of that I'm busy with "spiritual things" like Bible studies and planning church events and helping different friends and family members with needs that arise. My weeks seem to fill up with life's clutter in the blink of an eye.
My family and my friends have chastised me a million times, warning me that I need to slow down before I make myself sick. They say I need to learn how to say no. My old boss used to tell me that I was too much of a perfectionist and that I needed to learn how to delegate and trust my employees to get the job done rather than do everything myself, my way. Even so, I never seem to listen. I nod and smile and say, "Oh yes, you're absolutely right" but inside I'm already thinking about what I need to get done today and what's on my calendar for tomorrow. On those rare occasions that I decide to slow down and take some time off, something too fun to resist or seemingly too important to disregard pops up and suddenly I'm driving across town and staying out until two in the morning again.
A few weeks ago I was at a church service at Summit and my friend gave me a copy of the advent study guide published by the church. I was eager to begin the study and make it an important part of my routine in this busy holiday season. Keeping Christ at the focus of the Christmas season is incredibly important to me and at the same time increasingly difficult as the years go by. I brought the book home and laid it on my dresser. As I put it down, its title stared back at me: Still. One simple word that pierced me with such conviction I almost couldn't look at it anymore.
The book sat on my dresser for a week untouched. Still. I couldn't stop thinking about Psalm 46:10. I knew it was God speaking to my heart but I resisted that fact, convincing myself that I was much too busy to be still and listen to God. In fact, exactly one week into the staring contest between Still and I, I was talking to a friend close to midnight about how busy my life had become and how much I longed for more time spent reading the Word when those fateful words parted from my lips, "I'm just too busy." As soon as my own ears heard the phrase leave my mouth, I wanted to reach out and grab them from the air and suck them back down in shame. Too busy for God? Who am I kidding? Ridiculous.
Needless to say, that night I went home and got into bed with Still in hand. Still and I had some quality time that night. I read the first week's lessons that night and with each "day" of wisdom, my soul was touched more deeply and I knew those words were exactly what I needed to hear. It was as if that book was written by God for me. A love letter from Jesus. It was an amazing experience and one that was well worth staying up late into the night for.
Somewhere in that time of stillness with God, He spoke to my heart and changed the meaning of James 1:19-20 for me. For the first time ever, I looked at those verses and I didn't think about my relationship with others. I didn't mentall check off my good behavior and dismiss the importance of James' words. This time I read those words and I thought of my relationship with God Himself. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." Be still.
Be quick to listen. How often do I busy myself to the point that I fail to simply listen for God's voice? Failure. Be slow to speak. I am always running my mouth, speaking to others about what they should or could be doing to please God and serve Him, but am I slowing down enough to recognize when I should be silent instead? Failure. Be slow to become angry. I know that all too often I become frustrated with waiting on God's timing, become angry with Him for not catering to my desires and take matters into my own hands. I pray to God with a request and when He doesn't answer in my own time frame, I get frustrated. Failure again.
Those verses in James and that verse in the Psalms have become more meaningful to me in the last couple of weeks. I think they'll remain in my heart for awhile. I have so much yet to learn on this journey here on earth. I know that God has many more things that He will teach me along the way. Today, my goal is to simply be still long enough to hear what He has to say to me today...in this one moment.
Be still, Beloved.
For the last three or four months I've been studying the book of James with my home group. Slowly but surely, we've dissected the text verse by verse. Again and again, those are the two verses that keep coming to my mind. I keep coming back to those words: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. I've read those verses many times before, but this time they leaped off the page and shouted at me, demanding that I reconsider them. They've struck a chord in my soul that keeps reverberating as each day goes by.
I've always looked at those verses and thought of them in terms of me and my relationship with my family, friends, and people in general. I think I have always looked at those verses as a kind of a checklist of godly behavior to be mentally ticked off. Be quick to listen. I'm a great listener. Check. Be slow to speak. I sometime speak before I think but not terribly often. Check. Be slow to become angry. I rarely get to the point that my blood is boiling. It actually takes a lot to stir up anger in my soul. Check. Wow, at this rate I'm a pretty good Christian. And so, I think I've traditionally checked off my checklist, patted myself on the back, and given myself permission to kind of gloss over those words.
But something changed during the course of this study. As I've heard those verses mentioned and as I've referenced them myself time and time again in the course of discussing the rest of the book, something in my perspective began to shift.
Over the course of the study, I have been struggling with a seemingly unrelated verse in the Bible. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Even though Psalm 46 is one of my favorite Psalms and I read it often, that particular verse is one that I battle tooth and nail.
I habitually overbook my calendar. I have a ridiculously hard time saying no to anyone who asks me to do something. I am busy all the time! Oh sure, I'm busy with things that are good and often even Christ-like. I'm busy with all the normal day-to-day stuff like work and keeping my house clean and going to the gym every day and having fun with my friends. And then on top of that I'm busy with "spiritual things" like Bible studies and planning church events and helping different friends and family members with needs that arise. My weeks seem to fill up with life's clutter in the blink of an eye.
My family and my friends have chastised me a million times, warning me that I need to slow down before I make myself sick. They say I need to learn how to say no. My old boss used to tell me that I was too much of a perfectionist and that I needed to learn how to delegate and trust my employees to get the job done rather than do everything myself, my way. Even so, I never seem to listen. I nod and smile and say, "Oh yes, you're absolutely right" but inside I'm already thinking about what I need to get done today and what's on my calendar for tomorrow. On those rare occasions that I decide to slow down and take some time off, something too fun to resist or seemingly too important to disregard pops up and suddenly I'm driving across town and staying out until two in the morning again.
A few weeks ago I was at a church service at Summit and my friend gave me a copy of the advent study guide published by the church. I was eager to begin the study and make it an important part of my routine in this busy holiday season. Keeping Christ at the focus of the Christmas season is incredibly important to me and at the same time increasingly difficult as the years go by. I brought the book home and laid it on my dresser. As I put it down, its title stared back at me: Still. One simple word that pierced me with such conviction I almost couldn't look at it anymore.
The book sat on my dresser for a week untouched. Still. I couldn't stop thinking about Psalm 46:10. I knew it was God speaking to my heart but I resisted that fact, convincing myself that I was much too busy to be still and listen to God. In fact, exactly one week into the staring contest between Still and I, I was talking to a friend close to midnight about how busy my life had become and how much I longed for more time spent reading the Word when those fateful words parted from my lips, "I'm just too busy." As soon as my own ears heard the phrase leave my mouth, I wanted to reach out and grab them from the air and suck them back down in shame. Too busy for God? Who am I kidding? Ridiculous.
Needless to say, that night I went home and got into bed with Still in hand. Still and I had some quality time that night. I read the first week's lessons that night and with each "day" of wisdom, my soul was touched more deeply and I knew those words were exactly what I needed to hear. It was as if that book was written by God for me. A love letter from Jesus. It was an amazing experience and one that was well worth staying up late into the night for.
Somewhere in that time of stillness with God, He spoke to my heart and changed the meaning of James 1:19-20 for me. For the first time ever, I looked at those verses and I didn't think about my relationship with others. I didn't mentall check off my good behavior and dismiss the importance of James' words. This time I read those words and I thought of my relationship with God Himself. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." Be still.
Be quick to listen. How often do I busy myself to the point that I fail to simply listen for God's voice? Failure. Be slow to speak. I am always running my mouth, speaking to others about what they should or could be doing to please God and serve Him, but am I slowing down enough to recognize when I should be silent instead? Failure. Be slow to become angry. I know that all too often I become frustrated with waiting on God's timing, become angry with Him for not catering to my desires and take matters into my own hands. I pray to God with a request and when He doesn't answer in my own time frame, I get frustrated. Failure again.
Those verses in James and that verse in the Psalms have become more meaningful to me in the last couple of weeks. I think they'll remain in my heart for awhile. I have so much yet to learn on this journey here on earth. I know that God has many more things that He will teach me along the way. Today, my goal is to simply be still long enough to hear what He has to say to me today...in this one moment.
Be still, Beloved.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
humble pie
I prefer the taste of pumpkin pie over humble pie any day of the week. What was I thinking today when I opened my big mouth and inserted my foot?
A friend of mine who never, ever compliments me finally gave me a compliment (or at least I think so) and I immediately shot it down because I've had my feelings hurt and I wanted him to know that he's the one who's been hurting me the most. Even though everything in me was screaming, don't say anything...don't say anything...I said something....and then I said some more...and then some more. Of course, remorse inevitably and immediately followed. Bitter humble pie in my big, fat mouth.
It's not that what I said was so terrible. In fact, I tried very hard to carefully choose my words. It's just that at that particular moment, it would have better for me to just say nothing at all. When will I learn to just be quiet when silence is what is called for?
Why is it that I say that I trust God and in my mind I know that I do honestly trust God and His timing and yet my actions repeatedly say "Move over, God, because I have a better idea!"? There's something deep inside of me that causes me to leap head-first into action when there's a problem, thinking to myself all the while that I can fix it or solve it or make it feel or look better. But shouldn't I have learned by now that God is in control of all things and that He is infinitely better equipped than I am when it comes to mending broken relationships and broken bones and broken hearts and broken anything? When will that knowledge that is so firmly planted in my head and heart finally translate to my words and actions?
In the grand scheme of things, am I more worried about getting my point across than I am about shaping my character to better reflect the image of Christ? The answer is no. Sometimes, however, my eyes wander from the cross and I lose sight of what's important. God always directs my eyes back towards Himself. He always forgives me and reminds me to forgive others just the same. He loves me and reminds me to love others as He has loved me. And so I do.
I am definitely a work in progress. Stinkin' humble pie. Sigh.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33
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