finger paintings

My favorite part of each day comes just as the sun is setting. About that time, I usually make a point to be working out on the cardio machines which are located on the second floor of my gym. The view from the elliptical machines and treadmills is just perfect since they're directly across from the windows on the West side of the building. I watch each night as the sky changes from a pale blue to a dark purple streaked with different shades of golds, ambers, pinks, oranges, and grays. The colors morph and merge and mingle each night as I watch them...it’s almost like watching a slow dance. It's breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly romantic. I know it's God romancing my heart. He's pretty good at it. I picture God finger painting in the sky, creating this personal masterpiece for me to ooh and awe over as He calls me His Beloved.

I remember as a little girl sitting up at my dad's drafting table and watching him as he would paint with watercolors. With a little prodding, he would let me join him. He'd give me special paper and free reign over an expensive assortment of stunning, vibrant colors. I'd ask him the names of the different colors like cerulean blue and cadmium yellow and crimson red and I'd mix my own unique color combinations. In the end, my watercolors were never as organized or as beautiful as my dad's works of art, but to my mom they were worthy of display in the Louvre. She’d print a Bible verse on a transparency film and place it over my blended hues before framing them and finding a suitable spot on one of the living room or bedroom walls to hang them, proudly displayed for all who entered our home to see.

I have to wonder if life is full of creative moments like that. I wonder if when I’m serving God selflessly by doing a service project or helping a friend in need or something if those moments are so beautiful in God’s eyes that they’re like a child’s mediocre replica of the Creator’s brilliant evening skies. Does He frame moments like those and hang them on His heavenly walls and smile with remembrance each time He gazes at them? I imagine that heaven is glittered with paintings like those…amateur mock-ups of an Artist’s brilliance, given a value by the Father far greater than any man would ever attribute to them…counterfeits viewed as priceless treasures by the Authenticator merely because of the great love He has for the person whose fingers put paint to paper.

I hope I see a lot of familiar paintings as I wander the halls of heaven one day...

leavin' on a jet plane

I’m on a plane flying to Denver, Colorado as I’m writing this. I’m thousands of feet in the air, so high all I see outside my window is a sea of puffy, white clouds below a flawless blue sky. This plane ride isn’t just the beginning of my ski trip though. It’s so much more. It’s a new beginning for a new chapter of my life. You see, I think life pretty much plays out in chapters. Some chapters are terribly dull or painfully long and you just can’t wait to get to the end of them so you can start the next one. Some are so beautifully joyous that you wish they’d stretch on for hundreds of pages!

Well, I’m sitting here ready for a new chapter. I’m determined to make a fresh start for myself. In some ways I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I want to read when I look back on this chapter some day down the road.

I know one thing though…I’m determined to be different. I just ordered a diet coke from the flight attendant. I don’t even like diet coke. Maybe I need to take this fresh start business down a notch.

From Ski Trip 2008

I’m reading a book right now about God’s grace – well, I just started reading it for the second time. The first time was a few years ago but at the time I found the book to be too thought-provoking and potentially life-altering and I wasn’t ready to make changes to my life just yet so I cast that book and those newly provoked thoughts aside on a shelf somewhere.

But here I am now on this plane flying to Colorado and away from my life as it once was. I’m ready for books that will make me fall so madly in love with Jesus that I’m willing to make sacrifices for Him. This isn’t just a plane ride to Colorado. No, it’s an escape in some ways. It’s a sprint towards Jesus with arms outstretched. It’s a lot of things. It’s both an end and a beginning.

My diet coke just got here. Note to self: no more diet coke. The new me still doesn’t like it.

When I step off of this plane, I want to see mountains. I love the mountains! They always remind me of how big God is and how small I am in comparison to his bigness. I need to see God as big right now.

Today I’m making a commitment to God and to myself. I want more of God and I know that He wants more of me. I want to spend more time alone with God – talking to Him, reading His Word, taking walks with Him, and just being still and quiet long enough to hear His voice.

I want to stop being so “busy” all the time. I want to sleep more. I want to pray more. I want to run more. I want to spend more time with my family. I want to trust God more. I want to drink less coffee (shocking, I know!). I want to complain less. I want to love God more deeply. I want to have afternoons where the only thing I do is climb trees or sit reading and sipping iced tea on my front porch as I ponder all the questions I want to ask Jesus someday.

About two years ago, I was involved in a Beth Moore Bible study with a group of girls from my church. During the study, we were asked to select a Bible verse that we found especially difficult to believe. The verse I chose was the verse that says that God would grant me the desires of my heart.

I’ve always known that verse is true because God’s Word is truth, but it still has never felt true to me. Doubt remains at the back of my mind and I always cringe at the mention of this promise in the Bible. At the same time, I’ve always known and understood that the key to this verse is that God will alter and refine our desires to be a reflection of Himself and His will for our lives.

Oh God, let this be You changing me and transforming me – not just me selfishly seeking a change of pace, or a new chapter!